I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize
