remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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