she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
