while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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