No awkward lesbian experiences without me
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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