My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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