..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
