I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
