O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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