I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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