he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
