he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
