It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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