if you like me you must not know who I am
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
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