Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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