this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
