No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
My ATM looks so different sober.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
