I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
