and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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