Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
