Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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