he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
