His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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