and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
