i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
