If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Randomize
