Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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