I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
