Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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