If i come over, it means nothing
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
