I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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