If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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