i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
