Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Randomize
