oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
