pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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