walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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