I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
