Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
he's single and there are thong briefs.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
