Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
