Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
be right there i have to get my cape
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
