he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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