Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
