I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
