he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
