she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
