Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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