Ambien. No doubt about it.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
