Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
