I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
