And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
