One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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