we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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